... lacrimae sanguis animae sunt ...
14 May 2008
What would you have done?
Suddenly you hear the noise of falling bombs
And you hear the deep scream of the frightened ones
Over here, bullets cross the dark cold sky
And you see, this day's not longer than that fight
Every day you and thousands have to face
Bravely a sorrowful path up to disgrace
Yesterday I remebered someone's said
We'd shortly be in the end of this path
Have you ever wondered what would you do
If you had the power to break through
All the stones that force you back
Have you ever wondered what would you've done
If all your hopes had not gone
Maybe you could make this world fair
And we'd have followed you
Till the end of the world
We'd have died for you
If you'd have showed us some hope
Just some wish to go on
We'd have gone, rushed headlong
With you, for you
With you, for you
Renan C. Ferreira, 14/05/2008.
And you hear the deep scream of the frightened ones
Over here, bullets cross the dark cold sky
And you see, this day's not longer than that fight
Every day you and thousands have to face
Bravely a sorrowful path up to disgrace
Yesterday I remebered someone's said
We'd shortly be in the end of this path
Have you ever wondered what would you do
If you had the power to break through
All the stones that force you back
Have you ever wondered what would you've done
If all your hopes had not gone
Maybe you could make this world fair
And we'd have followed you
Till the end of the world
We'd have died for you
If you'd have showed us some hope
Just some wish to go on
We'd have gone, rushed headlong
With you, for you
With you, for you
Renan C. Ferreira, 14/05/2008.
13 May 2008
Am I able to this?
I'm not good at talking about love. I mean talking about relationship. That's because I've never managed well with this stuff. I think it has something to do with my own personality: I've got to keep loose.
I haven't had many girlfriends. In fact, I'd say I've had just one. With all the others I've never gone longer than "ficar". The one I've had hasn't respected my space and I couldn't take the relationship any longer. I've always been like that. It's something natural and necessary for me. I like having someone, but I don't enjoy standing still.
Recently, I've felt something different. It's a kind of need of company. I feel like staying and keeping a relationship with someone. Actually, I've ever felt this, but people never understood and repected my space. But I'm considering the idea of allowing myself to dive into a new relationship again. Someone has already said that it has something to do with maturation. As you get older, you feel the necessity of some stability. I do not really know if it's true.
Another big problem on all this is the person. Up till now, no one has understood me, no one has comprehended what I want. I know I should be more open, and I'm really trying hard. I'm not falling in love for anybody, though I've been felling something stronger than simple attraction for a girl. But it's to early to talk about that.
I just wish it wasn't too difficult for me to get involded with someone, because I want, and I need to.
04 May 2008
Confession
How I wish I could say everything I think, and express everything I feel, not caring about reactions, not choosing right words, not expecting an especial response. My life would be simpler, my soul would feel more comfortable, and I would certainly have less trouble, if I could simply act like I think.
How I wish people could understand my personality, and accept that I value my freedom very much on the verge of not exchanging it for many good things, experiences or even people. Nevertheless, I wish they could comprehend that, as a human being, I sometimes need something or someone else as well, and I do believe we need someone to complete us, though I've never ever been even far from mine.
How I wish I was more sensible and closer to my one's feelings, so that I could seem more reliable and able to help them more, and show them there is something more which makes me feel like helping. I wish I was able to show them that belief is not just a case of believing in something, but living the belief and, in my case, living the love.
However, I really know that many of the things I desire are impossible, and many others just depend on me. Many people go to the church, get on their knees and ask for everything they want, not even perceiving all they already have. Other people don't need to go to the church, and do that at home, or ask themselves, or make plans, or promise themselves to do something.
In fact, I'm just writing all these words as a short unburdening, which could easily be done to a priest, as I've ever done plenty of times. It's very much like a confession. My today's one.
Renan Ferreira, 05/2008.
